12 Reasons to Hate Puckleberry
by mythologyrulz
Summary: New Directions had many reasons to hate Puck and Rachel together – not that they don't have reasons to hate them separate to but that my friend is a different story – here is just a few.


New Directions had many reasons to hate Puck and Rachel together – not that they don't have reasons to hate them separate to but that my friend is a different story – here is just a few.

**They're like complete opposites ~Brittany**

Yes even Brittany had noticed that Puck and Rachel were complete opposites when it came to anything there was this one time the glee club went out for dinner together – Mr. Schue's idea – when those two had first started to date.

The thirteen members of New Directions and Mr. Schuster and Pillsbury – for supervision though they were more flirting then supervising – were all sitting in a 50s themed diner talking amongst themselves when the waitress came by she was a middle aged woman with short curled brown hair.

"What can I get for you?" She asked from the tone of her voice they could have ordered dog food and she wouldn't have cared.

The group made there orders eventually the waitress got to Puck and Rachel.

"I'll have a cheeseburger extra bacon and a chocolate shake." Puck ordered.

"Noah that is awful for you it will clog your arteries and dairy has negative affects on your vocal chords." Rachel scolded. "I'll be having water and a ceaser salad."

Puck scoffed "Pfff please that's not real food Berry."

"Yes and Buns stained with grease and pureed ice-cream is." She turned to the waitress. "No offence." She just shrugged in response.

"At least it tastes good."

"Mines not going to kill me." 

"Yeah well mines enjoyable."

"It won't be enjoyable when you can't see your toes."

"Babe, I'd still be a stud even then."

"Sure Noah."

"You know you want me."

The rest of the evening was pretty quiet seeing as no one knew what to say Finn attempted to comfort Rachel – he ended up barely missing a punch in the face – and Santana tried to "distract" Puck – she ended up getting death glares from a certain star-to-be for a week.

Eventually the two worked it out but, they remained total opposites.

**Rachel has Puck totally whipped ~Mike**

It started out small for the first week it was just "Noah can you hold this?" or "Noah can you grab me my book?"

Around the second week it got a bit worse. "Noah I need you to take me shopping." and "Noah I think we should go see a musical."

The third week it was getting bad very bad. "Noah I need you to take me **shoe** shopping." And "Noah our monthiversary is coming up. Here is a list of what I think we should do."

After a month it was unbelievably scary. "Noahkins I got us matching sweaters! Aren't they adorable?" and "Does this sweater make me look fat?" Scary right? Mike thinks she's threatening him with sex.

**They make-out everywhere ~Artie**

On Monday Artie wheeled his way into the music room to find Rachel on Puck's lap kissing passionately (he swore he could see more then a little tongue) he murmured a 'sorry' and wheeled out of there as fast as he possibly could.

On Tuesday he wondered into the AV club closet to find the two in there Rachel's legs wrapped around him in insane positions and Puck attempting to reach second base and failing once again he said sorry and got out of there.

On Wednesday Artie caught them under the bleachers he was just going for a stroll - or a roll – when he saw them lying on top of each other and once again a sorry and wheeling like hell.

On Thursday it was getting ridiculous he was passing through the halls during his spare period and they were up against the lockers how no teachers noticed he will never know.

On Friday he had had enough when he saw them returning to the music room to finish what they started he yelled "Is this some kind of freakin contest?" Well that got they're attention.

From that point on Puck and Rachel made sure not to make-out in front of Artie.

**They were in such denial ~Tina**

Before Puck and Rachel got together neither of them would admit they liked each other, Tina remembered when the girls and Kurt had a sleepover together and they had asked her if she liked Puck.

"I most certainly do not like that cretin he's absolutely disgusting and rude. What ever would possess you to ask that?"

Mercedes rolled her eyes. "Oh I don't know, maybe it's the fact that you always stare at him, or how your blushing now." Rachel was indeed blushing.

"I do not like him!"

"Do so!"

"Do not!"

"Do so!"

"Do not!"

"Do so!"

Do not!"

Do not!"

"Do so! Dang it! Whatever I'm going to bed!" Rachel huffed.

Kurt smirked. "Goodnight Mrs. Puckerman."

"Argh!"

**Now there all lovey-dovey ~Mercedes**

It was literally sickening to watch those two it was all "Noahkins you are so cute!" And "Oh, thanks my little BerryBear." It was disgusting all the little pecks on each others noses, and the Eskimo kisses, and oh god the pet names they were the worst pet names ever not just "Cutie" and "Shmoopie" but "Loveburrito" and "Smoopiebadoopiekinsalot." It was awful Quinn had already puked twice. Who knew to arch enemies could fall in love but more importantly who knew a badass would ever say "Smoopiebadoopiekinsalot."

**Whenever Puck screws up he buys Rachel McDonalds ~Matt**

Matt first discovered this after a football practice he remembered earlier that day Puck had hit on this blonde girl with huge bazoongas and Rachel was pissed. Matt had decided to grab a burger and shake after practice because he was starving. When he pulled into the parking lot he was shocked to see Puck's truck there he shook it off and went in.

He was once again shocked when he saw Rachel "Salad and Water only" Berry shovelling down a big mac and fries. She was there with Puck but he didn't say a word until she was finished. Though Matt did see him reach for a fry once but he quickly retracted his hand – Matt swore he heard Rachel literally growl.

That wasn't the only time he saw the couple there it seemed every time Puck did something stupid there they were not talking it was just Rachel eating but the next day there they were linking arms or going at against the lockers.

**She is obsessed with the baby ~Quinn**

It's scary she bought so many books 'Is it really a baby?' 'Does it have a problem?' and toys and of course the dance lessons and the singing lessons and the acting lessons. Quinn remembers when she got them.

Rachel burst into the Puckerman living room "Oh my gosh! They had this amazing sale on lifetime lessons at my dance studio! I just had to get them for you guys!" She also had gotten more books 'Babies for dummies' and 'so you think you can mother.'

Puck smiled. "Babe that's great!" He then pulled her into a heated make-out session.

Quinn made a gagging motion, "I'm going to go pluck out my eyeballs."

**There so unfashionable ~Kurt**

Kurt already thought they dressed like a grandma and a lumberjack but now they're wearing matching hand-knit purple snowflake sweaters and homemade jeans (yeah he's not so sure how that works either.) The top three worst ones are

3. Matching royal blue pantsuits with yellow shirts that said 'Puckleberry 4 ever' on them.

2. The outfits they wore to the dance Rachel had a gorgeous turquoise dress that was v-neck and had a train that went from turquoise to purple and Puck was wearing jeans and a t-shirt

1. But the worst was Puckleberry pyjamas that's right Figgins thought it would be fun (and cheap) to do a pyjama day and Rachel and Puck both came clad in lime green flannel pyjamas that had Puckleberry scrawled all over them in pink.

**They were disgusting together ~Santana**

Santana and Puck were hot together (in her eyes) but those two were all wrong together. When her and Puck made-out it was sexy when man-hands and Puck made-out you wanted to claw your eyes out. Honestly nobody wanted to see that.

**They were wrong together ~Finn**

Finn and Rachel were cute together (in his eyes) but those two were disgusting together. When him and Rachel kissed it meant something when Puck and Rachel kissed you wanted to claw your eyes out. Honestly nobody wanted to see that.

**Puck was an awful influence for her ~Mr. Schuster**

Does this one even need explaining ever since "Puckleberry" reunited Rachel was distracted in every class whether she was texting Puck, or passing notes to Puck, or talking to Puck, or just staring at Puck. And she was distracted in glee all the time and was always begging Mr. Schue for Puck to get a male lead, "Please Mr. Schuster you and I both know that Noah is an amazing performer and can sing Neil Diamond better then anyone in the club this I a duet by two Jewish performers for gosh sakes Noah is an amazing Jewish performer – and of course so am I!"

Since these two had gotten together Rachel had actually gotten something bad on her permanent record – Rachel!

**They were freakin' perfect together! ~New Directions**

Everyone knew this Puck and Rachel were perfect for each other and maybe that's why they didn't like them.

**A/N: Well what did you think? Please let me know in a review! Also I'm considering doing a sequel for a different couple so if you suggest something I will write it (I may not do slash not because I'm homophobic – I totally support peoples choices I even participated in the Day of Silence and I'm outraged by Maine's gay marriage ban (I have a cousin there who is gay) – but because I wouldn't do it justice but I could attempt it if you wanted (I also can't write Sue) **

**Also if you review can you please tell me what happened when your reported cause some person reviewed my song-fic and said 'you can't write a song-fic it's against the rules of fan-fiction you've been reported have a nice day!' and now I'm all worried so can someone please clarify or tell me what I should do. Anyway once again please, please review **


End file.
